


Changes and Memories

by mohinikapuahi



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-13
Updated: 2012-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-31 02:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohinikapuahi/pseuds/mohinikapuahi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU which loosely follows canon and diverges from it sometime after 2.10 </p><p><b>Disclaimer: </b>:I own nothing related to Hawaii 5-0.</p><p><b>A/N:</b> For ease of understanding, all Danny’s memories are in italics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes and Memories

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reddwarfer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reddwarfer/gifts).



> **A/N 2** This was originally written for for the 2011 Holiday Exchange but I courtesy of travel and tech issues I was a smidge too late submitting. The request was AUs, x-years later stories, what-if x happened instead stories, stuff like that. Marriage of conveniences becoming love, moving in together. Adopting a kid. A family party. Grace. Happy or Hopeful endings. Danny got all reminiscent while I was writing this, it’s a completely different story to what it was supposed to be but hopefully this hits the spot.

Danny stood in the kitchen of what was now known as the McGarrett-Williams house watching his family outside on the small beach. It still utterly confounded him how he had come to this, a life if he were honest he would never have chosen, but now he wouldn’t dream of giving up or even changing. Even when Steve had forced him onto the task force he had no clue this would happen, despite the fact that they fell into perfect sync in both their work and personal lives. His own heart had blindsided him, sometime around the time that this very house had been broken into and he had arrived in time to find Steve sprawled semi-conscious on the floor, he had realised he was falling in love with his partner. Watching Steve on the beach with their daughter drew a gentle smile to his lips as he remembered how they almost fell into the relationship that most of the island thought they were already in.

_**Twelve Months Earlier** _

_Steve’s exoneration from charges relating to the murder of Governor Jameson was just the start. His first night out of Halewa, Danny had driven him home and as yet hadn’t left._

_They had talked long into the night. The corners of Danny’s mouth turned up in a semblance of a fond smile as he remembered._

_Something was up. Danny was too quiet, too still, and Steve wanted to work out why so he could fix it, but painkillers and a couple of beers had ensured that his brain was too muzzy to sort out his own thoughts, let alone understand Danny’s. He was bone weary, his stab wound throbbed, his head pounded as he yawned wide enough to almost flip the top off his head. He felt like he hadn’t slept for weeks. And he hadn’t, not really, sleeping with one eye open in prison doesn’t really count as rest._

_Danny had preceded Steve into the house and went straight to the kitchen. Returning with two Longboards, he handed one to Steve, who still stood in the middle of his living room._

_“We need to talk.” Danny had said. “I would rather have you pull my teeth with pliers, but I’m not going to waste anymore time. We’ve wasted too much already.”_

_“Waste time?” Steve frowned “What are you talking about, Danny?”_

_“Remember what I told you about Rachel?” Danny grimaced._

_“Coming back to Stan?” Steve nodded slowly, this he knew about, he had seen the pain in Danny’s eyes as he had told him._

_Danny nodded his head before taking a long pull from the neck of his Longboard. “She wasn’t the only one guilty in this monumental clusterfuck.”_

_“What do you mean?” Steve frowned._

_“I mean, it was a mistake, going to her. She was comfort and familiarity. She was the life I had and thought I wanted back. I thought I needed her. But I was wrong. The night Mattie left I should never have gone to her. I should have followed my first instincts. I should have followed my heart.” Danny sighed sadly, “I should have come to you.”_

_“What?” Steve’s brow furrowed as he struggled to understand Danny’s words._

_“You’re going to make me say it aren’t you?” Danny swung his beer from his fingers and placed it on the coffee table, before stuffing his hands in his pockets._

_“I guess I am because I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Steve took a swig from his beer and put in on the table beside Danny’s._

_“I should have come to you because for some heretofore unseen reason, the reason for which is incomprehensible to my formerly mostly straight as a dye self, I might love Rach, but I’m definitely in love with you. God help me.” Danny glanced up at Steve’s face before looking back at the toes of his loafers._

_Steve paused, trying to absorb every word that Danny had just spoken. “Heretofore?”_

_“I’ll request a transfer back to HPD.” Danny sighed, “I won’t bother you, babe, I promise you.”_

_“What for?” Steve frowned. It had been a long hard day, the neatly stitched hole in his side had started an annoying throbbing, and his brain was starting to beat out the same tune as he struggled to keep up with Danny’s words._

_“What for?” Danny ‘s frown deepened, “Steven, this is fucked up enough without you being so obtuse.”_

_“Danny, I’ve had a bad week, I hurt, I’m tired. I’m sorry if I’m not keeping up...Wait, You love me?” his brow furrowed as his mind finally caught up with Danny’s half of the conversation._

_“That’s what I said, Steven.” Danny sighed._

_“Took you long enough.” Steve almost yawned in answer as he opened his arms to his partner._

_A small smile twisted Danny’s lips as he stepped forward into Steve’s embrace. “I lay bare my heart to you and you yawn. Nice work Steven.”_

Danny was drawn out of his thoughts as Hurricane Grace burst into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Danno, Aunty Mary wants a can of soda.” She grinned as she released her hold and ran across to the fridge pulling a can out, she placed it on the counter before hugging her father again, grabbing the can and running back out of the room. “Dad says it’s nearly time to grill.” She called over her shoulder, her bouncing braids the last thing he saw as she ran back down to the beach.

“Sure thing.” Danny answered, turning to pull the fish and steaks out of the fridge that Steve had prepared earlier, his mind slipping back to memories of how they became a family.

_**TEN MONTHS EARLIER** _

_There were nights he still woke in a cold sweat, even having Steve folded against his body, he couldn’t suppress the memories of the first time he thought he had lost Steve. Back when their relationship was still so new that the only people who knew about them were Kono and Chin, and then they only knew because they had walked in on them kissing one day. Back before they had actually consummated their relationship. Jenna had arrived with a half assed tale of how Steve could help her liberate her fiancé. He should have listened to Danny. Steve was so caught up in loyalty and honor and helping his friends and saving the damsel in distress that he couldn’t see it. Not like Danny could. Danny had known something wasn’t right, and Steve not answering his phone only confirmed it for him._

_What had happened at the airfield had shocked Danny. For almost nine years his first thought, his first consideration was Grace, nothing was more important than his little girl’s happiness, yet he pushed that aside for Steve. Even knowing that he may die trying to save his ridiculously noble, honourable partner from himself. Even now he couldn’t blame Jenna, in her place he may have done the same thing. Well that was probably a lie, he would never be in her place. Steve was not Josh. But he could understand why she did it and in the end she had valiantly tried to save Steve from the trap she had dropped him in._

_She didn’t deserve to die, and as much as it pained him to have left her behind, they couldn’t save her and save Steve too. If they had failed, she would have died for nothing. He couldn’t even find it within himself to complain when Steve insisted on tracking down a brother that no-one knew she had, returning the cross she wore around her neck and explaining to the shell shocked man the sanitised tale of how she had given her life to save him, and how he would never forget the debt he owed her.  
_

Shaking his head to try and clear out the dark memories, his hands worked automatically to cut the vegetables he was preparing for the tossed salad to go with dinner. Dropping the knife onto the cutting board, he braced his hands on the counter, thoughts of Jenna had pulled him back into the darkest time of their relationship. He was not proud of himself at all in that time, even to himself he felt like a spoiled brat, but he couldn’t help himself.

_**EIGHT MONTHS EARLIER** _

_Danny paced. His footsteps tapped out a swift staccato as he measured the short distance across Steve’s office and back again. Six angry measured steps. Turn. Repeat. His lips pressed into a thin angry line, his teeth clenched together tightly, his eyes focussed on the toes of his loafers as he struggled to control his anger. Steve’s silence only served to fan the flames of his anger._

_He glanced up to see Chin and Kono valiantly pretending not to look, but unable to conceal their concern for the events transpiring in Steve’s office. Danny stalked to the window and twisted the controls closing the blinds, shutting the outside world out of their concerns, just for a few minutes. Besides, it was bad enough that Steve was watching him unravel, he didn’t need anyone else’s pity._

_“It’s one mission, Danny.” Steve murmured._

_“One mission.” Danny growled, his voice low. “It only takes one bullet, Steven, or are you SEALs different to other humans?”_

_“I’m not leaving you, Danny. I’m coming home.” Steve almost whispered. “It’s not like it was with Jenna.”_

_The soft, heartfelt admission stopped Danny in his tracks. Danny knew he was being unreasonable. He knew that he was asking too much of their still mostly unadmitted relationship. Fair enough they had admitted their love and spent more time in Steve’s bed than they spent in separate beds, but neither of them had been anywhere near ready to make the permanent commitment step. At least, Danny hadn’t thought they were until they were being torn apart by a war they had no business calling Steve to._

_“Have you forgotten how that ended?” looking into Steve’s eyes he knew that he hadn’t, he could see the pain of that whole ordeal right there. “Tell them you can’t go.” Danny stated._

_“I can’t.”_

_“Why can’t you?” Danny started pacing again as he spoke, his arms waving his hands beating out staccato points as he spoke. “There’s a million reasons why not. You’ve been in the reserve for more than a year. They didn’t give a fuck about you when you were thrown in prison. You have a task force to run, here on this fucking isolated piece of rock. You nearly died two months ago. You’re not properly healed. You have a life here. You can’t go.”  
“I have to go, Danny.”_

_“No you fucking don’t.” Danny snarled, “Hasn’t your country already asked enough of you?” Danny knew the moment the words had left his mouth that he had taken the wrong approach._

_Steve stood from where he was lounging against the edge of his desk, “I swore to support and defend my country no matter what the cost.” Steve snapped, his voice tight with anger, and Danny watched as Steve tried to pull himself back under control._

_“She asks nothing of me, I do what I do to keep her strong, to keep ‘us’ safe.”_

_“Even though the Navy would drum you out quicker than lightning if they knew about ‘us’?” Danny jammed his hands into his pockets and stood there his eyes narrowed._

_“DADT is almost history, D.”_

_“But you’ll be leaving before it is.” Danny confirmed, searching his face knowing the answer before Steve spoke._

_“In a week.” Steve nodded._

_“So I can’t be your next of kin, I can’t be notified if something happens to you, I can’t even….” His voice broke._

_“Can’t what?” Steve frowned, stepping forward to reach a hand out to touch Danny._

_Danny shrugged out from under Steve’s touch. “I can’t even fucking claim your body if something happens.”_

_“Mary would never deny you any of that.” Steve spoke softly, his eyes bright._

_“It doesn’t matter what Mary would do, it’s the principle of the matter, Steven, don’t you understand that?”_

_“of course I get it, D, I may be shit at emotions but don’t you know that it kills me to know that?”_

_“Just so long as you understand that I can’t do ‘this’ while you’re off playing Rambo.” Danny waved his hands through the air between them._

_“So, what? Are you making me choose between you and my country?”_

_“Seems that way.” Danny stated walking out of the office, letting the door slam closed so hard the glass rattled on it’s hinges._

__

Danny drew a shaky breath, even in the worst times of his marriage to Rachel his behaviour had not been as appalling as it was then. He had walked out of the office and effectively out of Steve’s life. His phone had rung repeatedly until he’d turned it off, Steve had gone to his apartment and pounded on his door, pleaded his case until he was hoarse. That, incidentally, had been when he had known that Steve was just as deeply involved as Danny. It had also been when Danny had learned to hate himself for the selfish jealous bastard that Steve’s announcement had released and he couldn’t stop. Kono had visited him to make a heartfelt plea on behalf of her boss, but he wouldn’t back down. When Steve’s plane had been carrying him to a warzone, Danny had been sitting in a bar drinking himself into a stupor. When he had gotten the call from Mary to tell him that Steve was asking for him, he needed to come and say his goodbyes if he still cared, he was in a drunken stupor then too.

_**SEVEN MONTHS EARLIER** _

_Danny stood watching Mary’s hand gently stroking Steve’s forearm, his own hands clenched into fists so tight that his blunt fingernails were gouging into his palms. It shouldn’t be like this. He shouldn’t have to stand here and watch his lover straddling the line between life and death through a glass window, he should have Mary’s place. It should be him there begging him to come back to him._

_Mary had barely been civil to him when he had arrived stinking of sweat and cheap bourbon, his tie hanging loosely around his neck. She made it perfectly clear that he was only called because in the moments when Steve was in a barely conscious delirium he called repeatedly for ‘his Danny’. If she had her way he would be rotting in whatever bar he had crawled into._

_Soon after Steve’s departure, Mary had moved back to the island. Danny hadn’t been clear at the time, but he was now, she had come back to the island to hide-out while she was pregnant. He couldn’t bring himself to look away from Steve for long enough to check on Mary’s welfare._

Danny stood at the window and watched his partner playing with Grace. To look at Steve now you’d never know that seven months ago he had been so close to death that the Navy chaplain had administered the last rites. However, not even God could underestimate Steve’s will. On the third day that Danny stood at the window and watched Steve’s struggle, Chin had pulled him aside and told him some home truths. 

Some things were said that day that would never be repeated but after their ‘discussion’ was completed, Danny marched into the ICU and took up his post at Steve’s side. His fingers gently traced Steve’s knuckles. 

When Mary left the room he would lean down and speak to Steve, words of his sorrow at their parting, promises for their future if he would just come back to him. Words that slowly drew Steve back to them. His recovery was a long and arduous journey, but he was almost back to his peak fitness. Sometime during his recovery, Danny found that Mary had forgiven him. So deep in his memories he was startled when Steve slipped his arms around Danny’s waist and nuzzled his nose into his neck.

“You alright?” his voice curious.

“Sorry, I was daydreaming.” Danny shook his head to clear his thoughts, tilting his head back to receive a quick lip smacking kiss. “what’s up?”

“Nothing, just came in to get the meat for the grill, since someone’s slacking on the job.” Steve returned to nuzzling Danny’s neck.

“Everyone okay?” Danny asked nonchalantly.

“She’s fine, D.” Steve grinned as he released his hold on Danny and lifted the platter of meat. 

“make sure you keep her out of the sun.” Danny instructed.

“Yes, mom.” Steve laughed as he ducked the dish cloth that Danny flung at him.

Steve’s appearance brought to mind the final member of their little family. Ann Williams-McGarrett.

Soon after Steve’s recovery started they had made their first decision as a family unit. Together they would raise Mary’s baby. The second decision was to graciously accept full custody of Grace when Rachel offered it not a week after Ann’s birth.

_**THREE MONTHS EARLIER** _

_“I can’t go in there, Danny.” Steve almost whined. He had waited until they were both in scrubs outside the labour ward to decide that he couldn’t do this._

_“Steven you’ve done all the classes with her.” Danny pressed his hands to his hips._

_“But I can’t….you know.” Steve stumbled over the words._

_“You can’t what?” Danny frowned._

_“She’s my sister, man.” Steve stated which he seemed to think explained everything._

_“So you’re telling me you did all the classes with your sister, knowing full well she is your sister, but now that the time has come to actually meet ‘our’ little girl, you can’t go in there because you might see your sister’s hoohah?”_

_“that pretty much sums it up.” Steve nodded, his cheeks flushed._

_“You are unfuckingbelievable sometimes. You can kill dozens of people but you can’t be there for a birth.” He shook his head ruefully. “How is this my life. Wait here.” And with that he had soundly stepped into what would have been Steve’s shoes in the delivery room. An hour later he had held a tiny little girl in his arms. A little girl that was smaller than his monkey had been._

__

Danny lifted a tray filled with salads and picnic fixings and stepped out onto the lanai. Placing the tray on the picnic bench that was a new addition to their outdoor furniture, he turned and accepted the small pink wrapped bundle that Mary handed him, snuggling her close to his body and making tiny gurgling noises at her. Today was Ann’s three month birthday party and Mary’s farewell party, the rest of the team was due any minute. The last year was hard, harder than it should have been, but now they were together and were stronger for the pain they had endured.

Now they truly were ohana.


End file.
